It was a warm summer's day in Mesa, Arizona, wait, no summer day in Mesa is just warm...It was an extremely hot day in Mesa, Arizona. Trent Porter and his lovely wife, wait, Sarah is more than just lovely...Trent Porter and his extremely hot wife decided to go to the temple. When they left the temple, their spirits were lifted and their hearts were light. Little did they know that evil was lurking near their car.
Sarah made a cheery comment to Trent, and he threw his head back in laughter. They approached the beautiful, white Mazda Protege and Trent, being the chivalrous, good looking man that he is, decided to open the door for his extremely hot wife. As he opened the door the culprit attacked and held nothing back. Trent fell back as something hit his shoulder, he had been hit, it was a bad hit. It attacked him again on his back. Trent whirled around in haste ready to unleash the fury of "Thunder" and "Lightning", his enormous biceps, you know, they never have to strike twice. Yet to his dismay, the culprit had eluded him.
Trent looked at his shoulder, while Sarah admired his amazing backside, to assess the damage that had been done. It was worse than they had feared, it appeared that the bird had diarrhea and not a healthy looking diarrhea. Sarah's laughter filled the air similar to that of a hyena giving birth to a litter of young pups, yes a litter. Had Trent never been the amazingly good looking gentleman that he is, the bird would have attacked Sarah probably right on her head. This would have been, in the words of Bill and Ted, "Excellent and most triumphant", but alas, the bird dropping, nay, dumpings landed upon Trent.
This would be the last time that the last chivalrous extremely good looking young man would open the door out of courtesy for his extremely hot wife. And that, my friends, is The Day Chivalry Died!
5 comments:
Hmmmmmmmm - hot dump? Hot guy? Okay on hot dump - no go on hot guy. The majestic eagle in question must have felt that the stick that was standing next to his hot chick was annoying her and decided to show the stick his fantastic aiming capabilities. And the eagle hit the stick with not one but two dead on shots. The eagle’s hot chick burst out in tumultuous laughter at the fate of the stick that was trying to open the door for her. Laugh and laugh some more. Then the hot chick fell to the ground she was laughing so hard at the stick that stood looking puzzled at the poop on his jacket. “Ha! Ha!” said the hot chick. And, then to top it off, as she caught her breath, the hot chick said, “That was funny; but - Dennis is soooooooooooooo much funnier! Don’t you think so stick? I mean Trent?”
The END
P. S. The consistency of the bird poop is due to the fact that birds go wee wee and po po out of the same orifice. That would explain the liquidity of the dump.
I do have to admit, I laughed like a hyena all the way home. But I was very glad that the poo didn't land on the brand spankinly newly-washed car. oh that would have been disatrous.
Yes - unfortunately I find myself agreeing with Carah -
"If you have any poo, now would be a good time to fling it."
Sarah Diane- I'm surprised you didn't laugh until you wet your pants. That would be at my comment - not the bird pooping on Trent.
Love,
Objuan
Hmmmmmm - Sarahlo - I saw Trent with the same look on his face that you have on yours once. I turned around and ran out of the bathroom as fast as I could. I knew flinging time was near! Either that or house evacuation. No - wait a second - the house evacuation was caused by Brandon.
Hmmmmmm - must be dinner time. It seems as though the only time we talk about poo is at dinner.
Attention Concerned Citizens Everywhere:
If you have seen this bird flying in the Tempe area, would you please notify the Tempe Police Department - Proud Operation Operative Patrol (POOP) division?
We have reason to believe that this bird is guilty of fly by poopings in the Tempe area and would like to get him back on the ground before he really hurts someone. We also have reason to suspect this bird of gang related activity. He has been directing his poopings towards sticks with hot chicks. We have no idea how much emotional damage this bird has caused our fine citizens in the past 2 weeks.
Your name will be kept confidential - so please contact POOP at 1-800-766-7464 (that's 1-800-POOPING) today! Please help the POOP Division make the skies over Tempe safe again for sticks and hot chicks.
Thank you,
Sgt. C. Gull
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