The following occurrences actually occurred, though the names have been changed to protect the innocent. For legal purposes we will refer to the two individuals involved as Haras and Tnert. Prior to the night of the first strange occurrence, Haras talked quite often in her sleep and occasionally hit Tnert or was found walking around the room and removing Tnert’s prized possessions from the wall. However, this night proved to be much different. At about 2:00 am Haras sat up in their bed and screamed, “Get it away from me! Get it off of me! Ooo gross!” Tnert woke up startled and watched Haras throw her pillow case far from the bed and then lie back down and go to sleep. Tnert’s first thought was that she had had a piece of Dennis’s cheesy old mustache touch her in her sleep and she found it on her pillow case; a common nightmare to anyone who knew Dennis when his mustache was at its cheesiest. But when the two awoke the next day, Tnert questioned Haras of the previous night’s activities. She hesitated a little, the embarrassment forcing her cheeks to flush and said, “I dreamt that there was Vegetable Pea Soup all over my pillow case and I had to get rid of it!”
Our second case happened to deal with the same couple on a different day but during the same week. Haras wanted to prepare Tnert a wonderful meal (as she does so often, sometimes adding a little hammer for extra flavoring). The gourmet she was preparing was Chicken Quesadillas with tortilla chips made from “Santa Rosita – Corn or Flour Tortillas.” She sliced the tortillas to make the perfect chips and turned the oven to broil. After a few minutes she checked on them and found them to be browning nicely. But this is where the story adds a bit of the unknown. She checked again in no more than a few minutes time and found the tortillas to have changed from being chips to “Flamin’ Hot Chips” (which would have been a good name for Brandon’s high school band). Yes, they were engulfed in flames. She pondered removing the tray and putting it in the sink but the flames were getting larger so she grabbed the extinguisher. This was her first time using a fire extinguisher, and like anybody’s first time, she was a little awkward and confused. She took it in her hands and pointed it at the flames and pulled the trigger. What came out was a mystery in itself, but it covered the entire apartment. Tnert came home and found Haras trying to clean it all up and air out the apartment that a few minutes prior had been filled with smoke.
What truly happened to Haras these two times in one week? Was Tnert sneeking Vegetable Pea soup to bed or was it her own drool? Do all tortilla's spontaneously combust when broiled or only the Santa Rosita brand? The truth is out there but I guess we will have to leave it to Agents Mulder and Scully. Doo doo do do … doo doo do do…(that’s the theme to X-files in case you didn’t know).
2 comments:
I would just like to take this opportunity to emphathize with Sarah Shalese and her previous fiasco with the burning noodles. There must be some special kitchen talent that comes with being a SARAH, eh?
Green Pea Soup? And here I was going to go with, “Oh no! Trent threw a toe nail on me.” Yup – it’s time to call in agents Scully and Mulder. This is definitely a sign of extra terrestrial events. It is also a sign that no one in this entire family is eating nearly enough baked spaghetti. I believe the next thing that will occur will be an actual alien abduction. But – although it doesn’t happen too often – I find myself agreeing with Trent that “Flamin’ Hot Chips” would have been a great name for Brandon’s band.
I’d really like to know where the famed hammer was. It would have been neater to have beat the flames out of those disagreeable chips with the hammer. Man, chips on fire, that is the exact reason why you want to be eating baked spaghetti. Baked spaghetti is not only good for your mental faculties but it is also fireproof. The sauce, cheese and mushrooms act as a perfect fire retardant. Which, by the way, would have been the perfect name for Trent’s band. The Fire Retarders!
I’m thinking that maybe Sarah might want to cut back on the lighter fluid she marinates her chips in prior to putting them in the oven next time. But – hey – Sarah loves to experiment. She must have been great fun in Chemistry class!
Hooray for Sarah Diane! Cook on! And - you may want to increase your renter's insurance coverage while you're at it.
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