PORTER TOWN CRIER

The Rest of the Pictures from the Treehouse

PORTER TOWN CRIER

PORTER TOWN CRIER

The Chess Champion
Monday, October 30, 2006, Bryson, Sissy, Jentrie and Grandma went to the Treehouse Children's Museum. Wow! Bryson headed to the chess board. There at the chess board sat Mrs. Carol Thornock, of T. O. Smith Chess fame. Bryson wanted to play. Grandma asked Carol if she would play Bryson. She said she could tell who his daddy was and she would be glad to play him. She was surprised at how well he could play. He was winning! She had to go over to the children singing for a second and had her daughter finish the game off. Bryson was the winner!!!!!! Way to go Bryson. During the game, Carol wanted a full report on all of you! You know she got a good one from Grandma!

Mr. Spider Visits Mom

It's true. Mr. Spider paid a visit to your mother this morning. I think he was planning on taking a bath with her. Mr. Spider liked to play hide-n-seek. He also apparently had an aqua-lung because your mother is sure he came through the bathtub drain.

Hmmm - ugly little fellow. Your mother decided that he needed a bath more than she did. So the big bad spider went down the drain where the sun won't come out to shine so he can climb up the waterspout again.

Mr. Spider was coming to bite your mother because she killed Mr. Spider's wife a couple of days ago. Thanks to your mother Mr. Spider won't be biting anyone again. He's gone to that big spider graveyard in the sewer.

But I'm pretty sure that Mr. Box Elder Bug will be paying your mother a visit sometime in the night. Your mother does not like Mr. Box Elder Bug. She had me call the killer people to come out and kill all of his family. A sad, very sad day in the bug world.

Love,
Pops

A San Francisco Treat (Ding Ding)

As some of you are aware, my flight benefits kicked in on Friday and Sarah and I decided to take advantage of this opportunity to visit the beautiful city of Saint Frances for those of you who don't speak Spanish. We woke up early in the morning and took the first flight and then we got back home around 8:30 pm.

That is all.

Just kidding, of course there is more to the story than that. We flew into SFO and took the BART (a public transportation system) to the city. We got off and began our walking. We walked and walked and walked, some people were skipping, but not us. We came upon many types of people and places as we journeyed to the edge of the city. While we were walking to the Bay, we passed through Chinatown. It is now time to play a game. The game is called "Where are Trent & Sarah?" In this first picture you must find Sarah.

Now it gets a little more difficult; find Trent.

As you can see from the pictures, it was hard to find me when I wandered off from Sarah. We saw many raw chickens and looks of different kinds of meats and smelled a lot of garlic (how much garlic you might ask; let me put it this way, it was about as strong a garlic smell as after Dad has visited Lee's Mongolian). We then went through a part of town that must have been little Italy or something and finally we made it to Fisherman's Wharf. It was here that we first laid our eyes on the Golden Gate Bridge and Dad's former residence, Alcatraz.

We ate some clam chowder out of a sourdough bowl, it was tasty. We then ventured out on a boat for a tour around the Bay. We went under the GG Bridge (I bet Grandma Porter enjoyed San Francisco just for that reason) and went around Alcatraz.

Take a moment to admire the amazing abilities Trent has at capturing a postcard shot of the bridge.

Oops, wrong picture.

After our voyage, we stopped for a bit of ice cream from Ghirardelli Square. It was mighty scrumdiddlyumptous.

We then journeyed back to the center of the city and snapped some great shots for you to admire. Look closely at the statues in the fountain in front of the cathedral and you will find some remarkable resemblences to Brandon, I guess they must have sculpted the statues as exact replicas of his body...at least parts of it.

It was a most triumphant journey through the city of San Francisco. We are going to go back again and may even throw on a pair of roller blades to tour GG Park...which is probably where a certain Uncle first heard the phrase "Cool roller blades, dudes!" GG Park, roller blades, San Francisco...I think we all know which Uncle I am refering to. I think in all we walked about 20 miles or something like that; my legs are still killing me. But, it was well worth it. Sarah and I had a blast!!

Love,

Trenton

Cases for the X-files

The following occurrences actually occurred, though the names have been changed to protect the innocent. For legal purposes we will refer to the two individuals involved as Haras and Tnert. Prior to the night of the first strange occurrence, Haras talked quite often in her sleep and occasionally hit Tnert or was found walking around the room and removing Tnert’s prized possessions from the wall. However, this night proved to be much different. At about 2:00 am Haras sat up in their bed and screamed, “Get it away from me! Get it off of me! Ooo gross!” Tnert woke up startled and watched Haras throw her pillow case far from the bed and then lie back down and go to sleep. Tnert’s first thought was that she had had a piece of Dennis’s cheesy old mustache touch her in her sleep and she found it on her pillow case; a common nightmare to anyone who knew Dennis when his mustache was at its cheesiest. But when the two awoke the next day, Tnert questioned Haras of the previous night’s activities. She hesitated a little, the embarrassment forcing her cheeks to flush and said, “I dreamt that there was Vegetable Pea Soup all over my pillow case and I had to get rid of it!”

Our second case happened to deal with the same couple on a different day but during the same week. Haras wanted to prepare Tnert a wonderful meal (as she does so often, sometimes adding a little hammer for extra flavoring). The gourmet she was preparing was Chicken Quesadillas with tortilla chips made from “Santa Rosita – Corn or Flour Tortillas.” She sliced the tortillas to make the perfect chips and turned the oven to broil. After a few minutes she checked on them and found them to be browning nicely. But this is where the story adds a bit of the unknown. She checked again in no more than a few minutes time and found the tortillas to have changed from being chips to “Flamin’ Hot Chips” (which would have been a good name for Brandon’s high school band). Yes, they were engulfed in flames. She pondered removing the tray and putting it in the sink but the flames were getting larger so she grabbed the extinguisher. This was her first time using a fire extinguisher, and like anybody’s first time, she was a little awkward and confused. She took it in her hands and pointed it at the flames and pulled the trigger. What came out was a mystery in itself, but it covered the entire apartment. Tnert came home and found Haras trying to clean it all up and air out the apartment that a few minutes prior had been filled with smoke.

What truly happened to Haras these two times in one week? Was Tnert sneeking Vegetable Pea soup to bed or was it her own drool? Do all tortilla's spontaneously combust when broiled or only the Santa Rosita brand? The truth is out there but I guess we will have to leave it to Agents Mulder and Scully. Doo doo do do … doo doo do do…(that’s the theme to X-files in case you didn’t know).

Funny funny

So I was looking at the darling little picture on our screensaver of Trent's graduation lunch at PF Changs... and seeing cute little pregnant Danielle and Brandon made me remember a funny funny story I must tell! Last Sunday we received a message on my cell phone that sounded something like this: "We had the baby! He was born yesterday at 5:45 pm, he was 6 pounds 3 oz. and he and his mama are as healthy as can be! We're going to name him Brandon Joseph and we'd love to talk to you guys soon!" Now, when I heard this message, I was very very confused. I thought, OH MY GOSH! Brandon and Danielle had their baby EARLY, it's a BOY, and they named him BRANDON!! Wow. It was a lot to take in at once.
THEN I realized that this guy's voice, which sounds astonishly like Brandon's, was actually Brett Lee's, our friend up in Glendale. He actually kind of looks like Brandon a little bit too! It was really crazy. My golly! ha haaa!!!

THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE ONE I LOVE!

This is a picture of me when I saw what we were having for dinner last night. I was extremely delighted to see what Joyce had sitting on the table for us to eat!

Most of you have no idea what baked spaghetti is. This is a most unfortunate situation for you to be in. Joyce and I had a rather lengthy discussion during dinner on Sunday about how all of the casserole dishes she had on the table were filled with everything but baked spaghetti for me to eat. Your mother was not sympathetic. Actually I think she felt like I was pathetic. Not to be confused with apathetic which I really don't care if I am or not. Ha! Ha!

Since you do not know what baked spaghetti is because you are never around when Joyce makes it, I've included this picture for you to salivate over. Joyce and I (well mostly me) ate lots of baked spaghetti for dinner last night. Yummy! It was good for my tummy!

I've also included a picture of the French bread I consumed along with a salad that was generously covered with Tony's salad dressing. Yummy! It was good for my tummy!

All in all - it was a great meal. It's a shame Joyce and I were the only ones who were able to enjoy it. Well - okay - it really wasn't a shame since I shall enjoy it again tonight.

That is all.

Sissy’s Philosophical Views on Reproduction

"Oh Poop!" Yup – any time you have dinner with Trent you wind up talking about poop. Our dinner with the relatives on Saturday night was no different than having dinner with Trenton. We talked about Dr. Porter, too much intestines (which, for Brandon’s sake, will be the name of the new Bernstein Bears book), healthy prostrates, Snufflufflagus, and colonoscopies. What does that have to do with Sissy’s philosophical views on reproduction? Nothing – except for Dennis happened to mention the word poop at the start of dinner last night and Sissy learned a new word to say during the blessing on the food.

As with any dinner at the Porter’s, the topic soon turned to babies. Joyce asked Carah to bring her up to date on whose baby was due when and so forth in Carah’s family of sisters and in-laws. That prompted Dennis to ask the question he so dearly loves to ask, “So, Carah, when are you having your next baby?” I like to ask that question because Trever always get this look (as shown in the picture entitled “The Fan”) on his face. Then he proceeds to say that they are done having children.

Well, Sissy decided to join in on the conversation with, “Mommy no have baby in her tummy.” By the way, do you realize that Bryson can actually say, “Grandma” 22 times before Grandma says, “I’m busy right now Bryson.” Well, maybe it was only 12. But, it sure seemed like 22.

After a delicious dinner prepared by none other than our family's own gourmet chef, while relaxing on the couch in the “formal” front room, I posed this question to Sissy. “So Sissy, do you have a baby in your tummy?” Sissy replied very firmly, “Sissy no have baby in her tummy. Her tummy too small. (Then with a funny little smile on her face said.) Grandpa have BIG baby in his tummy.”

Which brings me back to my original comment, “Oh Poop!”

The TreeHouse

We now have a membership at the Treehouse in Ogden. Each time that Bryson, Sissy, Jentrie, and Grandma go to visit, it's a game to see who can spot Angel Moroni first. This last week as we approached the temple area, Bryson shouted, "I see Angel Moroni!" Sissy, however, gave the correction, "Uh, uh, it's Templeroni, Bryson."

Sissy Sleeps Over-----The Edge

Friday, September 1, Sissy, Bryson, and Jentrie had a great time at the Tree House with Grandma Joyce. That night, Sissy stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's for a sleepover. She was really have a great time. We watched Blue's Clues, we read stories, and we finally went to sleep. Sissy has a tendency to sit up in bed in her sleep, and then she plops down in a different direction. Sissy and Grandma were sleeping in the big bed in the basement. Grandma had placed chairs along the one edge of the bed, with pillows on the floor, so Sissy couldn't "fall" out of bed. A little after midnight, Grandma heard a little voice saying: "Help me, Grandma, I'm stuck!" No crying. Again, "Help me, Grandma, I'm stuck." Grandma raised up in bed and could not find Sissy. The chairs were still against the bed. Grandma followed the little voice to the front corner of the bed. Sissy had slid off the bed, straight down to a pillow. She was standing on her head. When Grandma reached for her, she got Sissy's feet. After a little pulling, Sissy was back up in bed--still sound asleep!

Bumper Boat Memories

I was so surprised that my family and friends came down to Arizona to ride the bumper boats with me.

My wife was so thoughtful to surprise me with such a joyous experience.
It was unfortunate that we weren't able to schedule bumper boat time while Dad and Mom were still around, maybe next time.
I have to admit I was impressed with Brandon's improved bumper boat skills; he only sat in the middle spinning in circles for a minute.

Brad was better at just spinning in circles.

These bumper boats were not of the quality of Trafalga Square because their squirters did not operate properly, yet I still managed to get soaked. Thank you to all that participated.

It's a Baseball Birthday Party

One day in August Joyce decided to give a baseball birthday party to her oldest son Trever. This, she thought, should not be an ordinary birthday party. Unfortunately Trent, Sarah Diane, Brandon and Danielle and a little one (to be named later) were not able to attend.

So, it was decided to start the youngest person in attendance on a habit that would remain with her for the rest of her life. Sure, it starts out innocently smoking a few candles, but - before you know it - it's pot. This would also account for why Carah does not appear to have legs of normal length.

The teams were divided up into girl teams and guy teams. This was made much easier because Trent was in Arizona with his delightfully clever clever wife who gives fantastic SURPRISE parties and has learned to become an excellent fibber.

As you can see - victory was in store for the guys. Not only because of their exceedingly fine looks but, because they were clearly the better team. And, of course, we were playing by Bryson's rules.

Happy 29th to you TREVER.

Suprise! I fibbed!

Prior to August 25, 2006, Sarah Diane invited people from all over Utah to attend Trenton's SURPRISE graduation. Brandon, Danielle, Joyce and a baby to be named later attended. They were happy. Dennis attended and he was happy too. He was smiling while he took this picture. You can't see Dennis right now because he is holding the camera.

Brad and Ann came to help SURPRISE Trenton too. They were happy to see Sarah Dianne had SURPRISED her husband of almost 2 years. And that Trenton was happy on his special day. Trenton even got the "Your Special" plate. Cause, he's a very "special" kind of guy. Speaking of special, there will be a posting at some future date welcoming all of you to Mr. Trenton Rogers' "Land of Make Believe". Staring King Friday and Queen Sara Saturday.


Trenton was SURPRISED to hear, "Hey - that's my brother!" He got a BIG smile on his face because he knew his little brother Brandon was somewhere in the audience. Hooray for Brandon! But because of some trickery, Trenton was not able to immediately locate the rest of the SURPRISE party.

And Trenton showed all of us how he was going to beat up the invisible Asian dudes that had messed him up with his final project. Yea - we get to see Rocky VII!


Trenton showed Joyce all of the flags from all of the different countries that were represented at the graduation. Joyce did not want to look at anymore flags since there wasn't one there from the nation of Ogden. But Trenton was still happy because he was SURPRISED.

Although Trenton received an extremely valuable Michael's gift card, he seemed to be more impressed by a new set of golf clubs that were waiting for him at the apartment Brad and Ann were staying in. Trenton was so excited that he quickly voided the warranty by removing the plastic covers. Trenton thinks he is Tiger Woods. Dennis tried to tell Trenton that Tiger Woods wore a Nike hat so they didn't look much like each other. But, that didn't bother Trenton. Not at all. He has a new set of irons.

Sarah Diane had gone to a lot of work to put together this amazing SURPRISE for Trenton.

But, Sarah Diane decided to promise Trenton that she would never fib to him again. No matter how much he tortured her. Nope - no more fibbing - honest!

Yea for Sarah Diane - she SURPRISED Trenton T-Bird Porter on his graduation day. And she made a whole bunch of memories for Trenton to be able to scrapbook by using his extremely valuable Michael's gift card.

The Long Lost Photos

Let's see if the pictures come up this time.

Danielle Had a Birthday Party

One day Moma Joyce Potter Porter decided to give a Harry Potter birthday party to Danielle Taylor Potter Porter because it was time for her to have a birthday party.
Moma Potter Porter invited Scarey Boogy Trever & Funny Carah to the party. Moma Joyce invited Funny Sarah to the party too.

Funny Sarah had a strange look on her face. Judging from how Funny Carah is sitting, we all know why Funny Sarah looked that way.

Joyce Potter Porter had a great time lighting candles, cutting cake and explaining how you can have a third leg to Harry Potter Porter Jr.!

Princess Sissy showed up to help celebate the Harry Potter Birthday Party.


There was plenty of drinking.



Moma Joyce also invited Harry Potter Jr. to attend the festivities!







So - when Danielle Taylor Potter Porter finally blew out all of her candles - we called Chuck and Princess Sarah Diane to celebrate over the phone.

Now Chuck and Princess Di can see how much fun everyone had!

Sleeping Jealousy

I bet you all haven't heard the fairy tale of the beautiful Sleeping Jealousy. Along time ago in a far away land I like to call Glendalia, this princess (her name really does mean princess) was a happy princess that always got what she wanted. If she wanted a salad, her and her amazingly ridiculously good looking prince had a salad, if she wanted to play mini golf and say vulgar phrases, she did so regardless to the objections from her incredibly muscular prince. One weekend, the princess and her prince played in a doubles tournament in Sedonaleau (it's French). They won the tournament and returned to Glendalia rejoicing. As the months passed, the princess would see her prince's trophy everyday and think about how she was the one who really won the tournament and he didn't deserve it. She dwelt on this thought until one night, last night in fact, she couldn't take it any more and got up in the middle of the night and removed her prince's trophy from the wall then went to the bathroom (as to if she went to the bathroom on the trophy, we just may never know). When she was questioned about the incident the next morning by her ridiculously good looking prince she claimed she was "sleep walking." But we all really know it was "sleep jealousy." And that, my friends, is the story of Sleeping Jealousy. Wait until next week to hear stories of Uglirella, a tale of the oldest sibling in a family of three boys and a girl. He would vacuum all day while his ridiculously good looking brother would watch TV. Until next time!

Love,

TP

P.S. The princess wanted me to let you know that this incident really did occur. She woke up while she was removing the prince's beautiful trophy from the wall. Please forward any questions about said incident to her.

Adventures with Trent

Hello all,

Hope you're having a lovely dinner right now before the Brandon Porter family heads off for St. George! Just wanted to update you all that our summer houseguest, Nicki D, has gone home to Utah. Now Trent has found his freedom again, he is running around in his birthday suit as if he
were 3 years old again. It's quite a sight to behold. I posted a picture and you'll see he hasn't grown much, poor guy.











I also wanted you all to see Trent's culinary skills. He made a delightful birthday dinner for me complete with all the things I wanted: "milanesa", which is a breaded-with-oats steak, new potatoes, asparagus, and beets. yum yum! I even got the special plate. And the "tres leches" cake was to DIE FOR!! It was a spanish fiesta to remember. What a nice boy. It makes up for all the naked running.

The Spanish folks you see are our non-english-speaking neighbor buds that I invited over, they didn't leave until 11:30 or so. Man can they talk!! Our minds were a little numb after all that translating. I met these chicos out swimming a few times at our apartment. Trent thinks I'm pretty crazy. But they were so very nice. :) They brought over a chocolate cake too, pop, ice, and a card!

And here's the picture of me opening your presents.
Thanks so much!! You're so very thoughtful. I love the scrapbook stuff and the Harry Potter books! My collection is ALMOST complete. :) Just one more to get. THANKS!! love Sarah

As per Porter Town Crier's Comment on Previous Post...

We here at the "tp center" have received a photo of the reported mother. She goes by the name of "Scarecrow."








Genetic testing has revealed that the children shown in the three yearbook pictures can be linked to "Scarecrow," though it is still debated as to if this "Scarecrow" actually has a brain. The picture of the mother of these three unfortunate, but lovable only by a mother, childern was submitted by an undercover report that poses as a super hero (pictured below) to pick up the ladies sometimes, but obviously forgot to take off his disguise for this picture.









Any further information about the pansyish looking tattoo on "Scarecrow's" face is greatly appreciated by us at the "tp center." Remember, we are always just a flush away.

I Love You Too Sarah S

No need to cry, Sarah, I always include pictures of all my siblings because I love them all equally. Don't you remember these good ol' days or, wait, maybe these good ol' days aren't that far gone. Anyways, love ya and enjoy your picture!

tp

Just a Friendly Reminder

Do you all remember when Brandon use to sing the song, "I'm going through Puuuberty, I'm going through Puuuberty, oh can't you see, I'm going through Puuuberty!" Well, I saw a picture from Brandon's past that reminded me of that song and thought I would share. Love you all,

tp


(Brandon & Trever--the high school years)